my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
