I wanna passion pit in your ass
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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