I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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