I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
