____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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