Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
