Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
