I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
