Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
