We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
