i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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