life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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