I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
