it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
