i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
