So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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