I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
