Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I understand Curling. That high.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
