My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize