i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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