Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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