We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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