I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
