Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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