xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
