i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
