Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
