just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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