nutella sex= disaster
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
