im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
