They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
