how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I want a musical about memes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
