This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
