Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
