I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
