i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
