oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
