My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I love you. Go after that dick
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize