its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
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Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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