Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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