i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
