dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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