Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
