Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
