just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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