just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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