does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
