I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
