Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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