im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish you could order shots online.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
