I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize