Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
