So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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