Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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