Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
