Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
