Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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