Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
