Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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