onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
