you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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