Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
