Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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