Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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