I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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